Out of the Loop

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that none of you really know how bad the homeless situation is in California. The weather is warm with hardly any rain, the people have bottomless pockets of change, and the people pretty much invite bums into their cities. Well, Santa Monica is the worst of all those cities and I work here. I just grabbed a bite to eat on the "Promenade" which is basically 3 to 4 blocks of shops and stores. An outdoor mall if you will. There is where many of these bums make their living. And don't be fooled, these bums are the cream of the crop, and make a pretty decent living. Just the other day I saw a guy that looked like any dad looks, light blue Polo shirt, nights khaki shorts (with the pleet still in them), and a pair of nice loafers. I looked down and to my surprise, he had suran-wrap all over his luggage. He was BUM. I'm sick of it. People like HIM asking ME for money. I have thousands of dollars to pay off from college and here he is making seventeen dollars an hour, asking me for money. That's right, a recent statistic shows that the homeless vagrants in California make an average of Seventeen dollars an hour. That will explain why some of them have cell phones. What did I just say? That's right cell phones. It will make you think twice before giving the California homeless any money. Sure, we all have our favorites. The guy in graphics, his favorite is the guy that wears a new pair of Nike's everyday. Everyday he has a new pair of shoes on. Our secretary, Kris, her favorite is The Boss as we like to call her. She is a lady that has on "mom outfits" with fake gold jewelry that eats McDonald's at the same time for lunch everyday and reads the paper. During that time she has meetings with many other of the Promenade Bums and they tell her what's going on, who's new, and how much money they are pulling in. At least we think that's what they are talking about. And then there's my favorite, the black bum with the pink sweatshirt and brown dirty blanket that can be found every morning between 8:40-9:05am talking to himself in the furniture window. And he doesn't just talk, he has all out conversations with himself in the window....laughing, getting mad, getting upset, making jokes. He's the best. But anyway, I digress, no matter if your favorite is the guy who yells out the Woody Wood Pecker bird call, or the guy that says, "Even maggots gotta eat.", they all make too much money. And the latest bum craze on the promenade...pets. All the bums are starting to get dogs. How the hell are they suppose to feed them? They are begging for money to eat, but can have a dog. And I can't tell you how many times (in the beginning) when I would take leftovers from lunch and give it to a homeless man or woman and they would ask me what it was and then tell me "It's ok, I don't eat chicken." or, "I'm a vegetarian." YOU'RE A BUM! You have to eat anything. And their lines really have to improve. "Can I have some money for some marijuana?" is not going to persuade me to give you money. Nor is, "Even writers have to eat." That guy actually uses the fact that he's employed to get money. Why aren't you writing? What are you doing on the street begging for money? It gets interesting. It really does. I am now insensitive to homeless. I don't care about them. Even if they are in Chicago, they are dumb for living there. No sympathy, no nothing from me. And I beg anyone who reads this not to give anything either. THEY'RE BUMS! They deserve to eat fromunda cheese, spoiled milk, and stale bread from the dumpster behind bakeries. They deserve holes in their clothes and duct taped Converse all stars for shoes. They deserve bugs in their hair and diseases that no one cares to cure. They deserve cringes and frightened faces from people who pass by. They deserve to be outkasts, because that's what they are. They deserve jack shit, and that's what I will always give them.

-Dan

Did anyone happen to catch the tv movie "10.5" last night? Well, if you did, I think you are entitled to the facts. The T.V. movie "10.5" was pretty talked about and it was labeled a "must see" for anyone living in California due to all of the earthquake talk that goes on here. So what did I do? I gave in to the morons who live in California. I watched it. It was about a 9.8 on the scale of big mistakes. Not only did the movie have horrible casting, bad acting, and plots that one laughs at, it made no sense was completely based on fiction. I was listening to my favorite morning talk show this morning, Kevin and Bean in the morning on the world famous KROQ. The had a real earthquake lady on the air and she basically ripped apart the entire movie. In the first part of the movie which aired last night, there were three earthquakes. The first one started in Seattle and knocked down the Space Needle which fell on this amazing BMX rider who decided to take the long route to safety, riding over parked cars, broken road and countless stairs. He took the direct route of the Space needle and much to his demise, did not beat it's fall. I thought he could have just made a right or left and saved himself his life, but that doesn't get ratings. So that one was a 7.4 I think. The next hit Redding, CA. This was a 7.9 followed by a 8.4 in the heart of San Fransisco to end the evening. Kim Deleany is the star of the movie and she is the Earthquake specialist that the president calls in even though she has some pretty crazy theories on earthquakes. Her theory, which is the basis of the movie, is that there are these super duper faults that we can't see because they run too deep into the earth. These faults, connect all the major, less deep faults, and is causing all of them to quake at the same time, which is leading to "the big one" that will change the geology of the entire California coast as we know it. Pretty crazy huh? Well, she is trying to get evidence of this to the President so he can evacuate California, and she does it by sticking some device into about one foot into the surface. Ha. First of all, she is saying that we can measure that far down to see this fault and she is going 12 inches down to find evidence. Good thing there were some dead wolves to give her evidence. Second of all, there are no faults deeper than we can see. That's how we know that there is a CORE! We can measure down super duper far so there are no super duper faults. Ok, so everyone knows that I was upset hearing Kevin and Bean this morning. Mostly because I am from Chicago and know nothing about earthquakes and was buying into the idea that half of california could just dissappear. It could happen! I just wanted all of you in Chicago to know the truth too. There were also a bunch of other facts that made that movie seem like one big joke, but I am too upset to repeat them all.

Always Chicagoan,
Dan