Out of the Loop

I get into the office yesterday, after my two week vacation, and notice there's something new.  I sort of have my own cube, but it's a double cube so there's another desk, but no “other” employee, so the desk is used for clients and what not.  Well anyway, there's this bright yellow cardboard display box featuring the finest of today's snacks, which reads, “Gourmet Treats.”  There's a small box with a slit in the top that says “please pay 75 cents.”  Next to the box is the flyer that came with it.  Here are a few excerpts from the skillfully crafted promotional material...

You have everything to gain
-Providing our snack tray shows you care.  This demonstrated concern has a positive affect on employee morale, efficiency, loyalty, and productivity.
-It's efficient and eliminates the time loss and nuisance of running out to the catering truck or retailer.
-It provides employees with needed energy at low energy periods during the day.

Basically, it's an honor system vending machine.  So, finding myself caught in a “low energy period” I decided to give some White Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups a whirl, they were pretty good, and provided me with that extra boost I so needed.  I picked the Peanut Butter Cups over the Uncle Ray's Ketchup Potato Chips because those looked horrible, and I had never heard of Uncle Ray.  I guess I though about not paying, because everything is out there in the open, but then I decided that if we lost the Gourmet Treats tray because the money came up short, it could kill employee morale, so I coughed up the 75 cents.

The highlight of the tray is the guy who comes to collect the money, and re-stock it with choice goods.  I was lucky enough to get a visit from him yesterday.  We told him he could get rid of Uncle Ray, because no one was planning on touching the ketchup chips.  Then he told us that he thought they were gross at first but then “the guy who was training him“ made him try them, and he thought they were good.  I can only imagine the rigorous training program he must have endured.  He then proceeded to open a bag on the house, and insisted we all give them a taste.  Sure enough, they tasted like fries with ketchup, and I don't think I'd ever eat one again.  Then he goes, “I like to eat really weird stuff...I put ranch, relish, and jalapeños on bread and eat it like a sandwich.“  I said, “wow, that really is weird.“  He collected the 2-3 dollars in the yellow box, and left.  Hopefully, he returns soon.

-schrags