Out of the Loop

I ventured home from the office on Friday with the intention of getting my mullet cut.  I have very thick hair which doesn't necessarily get long, it gets big.  Afro like.  My destination was “The Razor's Edge.”  In my opinion, the best barber shop in town.

The Razor's Edge is owned and operated by Sal.  I don't know his last name, because it is completely inconsequential.  Sal cuts my hair, we talk, we joke, I pay him, that's it.  No last names needed.  A visit to Sal is always a pleasant experience.  From AM talk radio, to Jeopardy on the TV, to a political discussion, it doesn't get much better than Sal and the Razor's Edge.  He takes such pride in his work and never strays from his normal routine.  If the place is busy, you're gonna wait.  He's not going to compromise a customer's haircut just to get through the line like it's Chipotle at lunchtime.  You respect Sal, and he respects you and your hair.  Waiting isn't all that bad because The Razor's Edge happily subscribes to more magazines than you can imagine, it even caters to the mature audience with Playboy, but those are in a special shelf, you know, so the kids don't get into 'em.

When I see Sal, it usually goes something like this (assuming there's no wait)...
Me: Hey Sal.
Sal: Hey.
Me: You ready?
Sal: Sure, the usual?
Me (now seated in barber chair): Yep.
Sal: Shorter or Longer?
Me (depending on the season): Shorter today Sal, definitely shorter.

Sal happily cuts my hair while we talk about current happenings in the neighborhood, politics, and of course Jeopardy.  Sal loves Jeopardy, but he never really gets any of the questions right.  He likes it when I do though.

Well, on Friday, I got to the Razor's Edge before the posted closing time of 6pm.  Sadly, it was closed.  Sal must have gone fishing or something.

In desperate need of a haircut, I made an executive decision.  I had a busy Saturday, and Sal is closed on Sunday and Monday.  On a whim, I did something I'll never do again.  I went to Jerry's Barber Shop.

Jerry is a competitor of Sal's and I hated giving him my business, but it had to be done.  I should have just waited until Tuesday.  Jerry is a portly polish man who wears a lab coat that generously exposes his chest hair and gold chain.  The coat features a patch on the pocket which reads “Master Barber.”  He is nothing of the sort.  His white coat is covered in hair clippings and his barber chair setup make you stare at yourself in a mirror about 2 feet away.  The complete opposite of the comfortable expanses at the Razor's Edge.

Jerry started cutting my hair, and about halfway through asked if he should “cut the top.”  Um, yes please.  When the cut was finished he started spraying this strawberry smelling crap all over my head.  Then, after he combed it for a bit, he sprayed some sort of coconut smelling agent on top of that.  What is that stuff?  I paid the man, choked on the fumes a bit more, and vowed never to go back.

This one's for you Sal.
schrags

Matthew-

You couldn't be more right about the necessity to have a fine barber. However, a cardinal rule is you must also have a fail-safe. The fail-safe is another barber whom you've experimented with that does a satisfactory job, but generally you just feel more comfortable with your normal barber.

I recently experimented with a supercuts location right here in Chicago. It is a fine establishment. You pay a little bit more money, but they really do a nice job. My normal barber is a man by the name of Giovanni. He is more of a young man. He works at Frank Gironda. He is up on the most current fashions and likes to talk about fishing and football. Yes, he is straight. He really knows his way around a pair of scissors because thats all he uses. The only time any mechanized cutting tool is adorned is to give your sideburns a clean line, otherwise its all scissors (which helps your hair grow out more evenly than clippers).

If any girls read this....is it way too girly to have a manicure? My new line of work entails meeting lots of people and shaking hands and I just thought that having a professional clean up the old money makers might not be a bad idea. Let me know what you think.

Okay, I'll admit that my first reaction was that, yes, it's pretty girlie to get a manicure. If I was a guy- no matter how straight- I think I would be pretty intimidated to venture into a nail salon. Who knows what those technicians are saying in their other language? It's good that you are concerned with your nail condition, however. My recommendation is to go to your local target and purchase some at-home manicure items. Nail file, cuticle trimmers, etc. It's not hard to do at home. Or enlist the help of a lady friend. She'll get the job done. And while she's at it, if you have a girlfriend- have her give you a pedicure. Those are where it's really at.

Norwood,

I hear you on the need for a backup, but to be honest, I think I'd rather just wait it out next time. The way Sal handles his straight edge is beyond comparison, and I just learned that I'm not ready to give that up to anyone just yet.

How much does your barber cost? Sal is a very affordable $12.

Melissa,

Thank you for the very honest feedback. I do have the file, and the other items you mentioned, but I just don't think I do a very good job. I will say that my hands do look a lot better than 90% of the male population.

Matt-

In regards to your question about cost, Supercuts was like $18 but that included a wash.

Frank Gironda's is like $30, but you are also paying for the ambiance (i.e. looking at very hot women cutting and having their hair done). Plus they do a little thing called a scalp massage while washing your hair. Seriously, nearly fell asleep while this nice young lady was washing my hair.

I do hear you on affordability. If you can find a low cost barber that cuts well, you stick to him and don't sing his praises in public or else you'll be sitting in line next time.

wait, did you say there were hot women getting their "hair done" at Supercuts? Norwood. Please.

ok you meant at franks. gotcha. i thought you meant hot chicks at supercuts. yikes!

I think guys should get pedicures....I could care less about the hands (maybe not), but the feet are key. No one wants to have a nasty unfiled foot touching them in the middle of the night. It's gross.

As for hair....buy some clippers. It's not that hard to have your buddy do it....unless you have crazy hair. Then I suggest a salon, because they know what they are doing there.

Tina,

Maybe it's cool to "buy some clippers" down on the farm =) or in college, but I really don't mind paying the $12 to Sal. In my book, he's worth every penny. A good barber is hard to come by in this day and age.

Busting out the farm comment....I see how it is. Actually, I'll let you know....I didn't know about the clipper thing until my Kansas City friends taught me in college. Back in the sticks, we go to barber in the small town with the pole outside....or in my case....My best friend's mom would sit me down in their kitchen once a month when I was over to play and chop a little off....that was free or like $10 for good graces from my mom.

Sal has a pole outside, and I've also been a victim of the mom cut. I wouldn't recommend it. I'm also a little suprised that your best friend's mom charged you or your mom for haircuts.

Where in the sticks is your farm? Do you own livestock? If so, who cuts the animal's hair?

Feet are extremely important, I admit there is nothing quite as gross as nasty feet. However, seeing a girl or guy with nasty fingernails is repulsive. When one nail is longer than the other or quite misshapen, or even worse that they bitten the nails down so far that the skin starts growing around the nail and above it as well. Disgusting. Clippers are for extremely lazy hair people. That is why they are the staple of the training program for such fine establishments as bo-rics, supercuts, and great clips. Invest a little money in getting your dome scraped by a trained professional with extremely sharp scissors. You will definitely see the difference when your hair grows out. It looks much cleaner than those crappy super sluts hair cuts.

Sorry for the double comment, but do you all know each other outside of the internet, or are these comments all among friends.

It's kind of a mixed bag Norwood. That's as best as I can describe it.

I went to high school with Matt. I met Tina through a mutual friend. But we are all friends here. Let's go out : )

Sounds good. We have to pick a weekend. I do propose duffy's. Can't say I have ever had a bad time there.

Umm....I have internet friends. Gross. j/k. Whenever is good. I'm pretty much booked up for two weekend, though....and then it's Halloween. Just let me know, though.

I'm thinking about being a barber for Halloween.

Ohhhh...blog post for tomorrow....What should I be for halloween. Be sure to check it out.

Be a Jolly Rancher!

Not today....tomorrow....and I can't be a Jolly Rancher. You were in the convo about Mean Girls. They weren't kidding around with that....

Last day at SP tomorrow. Kind of happy and kind of sad. We are going to the beautiful metropolis that is Dayton, OH tomorrow for the annual golf outing. The only reason we are going on a Thursday is to go to Timothy's Bar....and Grill (however, there is absolutely no way that they have cooked food in that place ever).

For Halloween....I am going as the white "Usher". I would go as Michael Jackson, but due to some serious child porno sick creepiness that is surrounding him I feel it best to leave that one alone. Also that way when I dance, people will definitely know what my costume is.

Look forward to your blogs tomorrow.


I'm out.

You'd better hope that Sal doesn't notice you cheated on him, and ban you from his Milwaukee Avenue shop forever!

-skillz