Out of the Loop

Well, I've finally found the inspiration behind the quote “drop the zero and get with the hero” because I've found a new girlfriend.  Goodbye Ariel, hello Elastigirl.  I can't explain my attraction to this superhero vixen but I can tell you that she's, well, incredible.  I thought my first cartoon love was great, but man, I've got to tell you, there's just so much more underneath that Lycra suit.

The Incredibles was excellent.  Pixar kept up their flawless record and did it again.  I loved every bit of it.  Thankfully, we have one studio in Hollywood still putting out quality material.

Despite the excellent movie, the theater still managed to suck.  Why does every theater think it's necessary to showcase a horrible three-dimensional introduction just to tell you what theater you're in?  Do I really need to fly on a 1985 computer generated rocket through space to remind me that refreshments are available and that trash receptacles are located conveniently throughout the theater?  No.  Also, who plays the video games in movie theater lobbies?  There must be people that play them, or else they wouldn't have them, right?  Are you one of those people?  What, your ass wasn't sore enough from paying $10 to see a movie so you just wanted to rough it up a little more by ponying up $3 to play Cruisin' USA?  No no honey, save me a seat, I'm on level 4.

I think I'm going to start a chain of theaters that only plays good movies, only has good, center row seating, and in order to come inside, English has to be your primary language, and you have to show proof that you passed the Constitution test.  You'd come, wouldn't you?

Happy Thanksgiving,
schrags

um...just to let you know, jessica rabbit is the hottest cartoon ever drawn. she was way before Ariel. she had sex appeal. ariel was a nerd. but some guys are into that.

to each their own,
HAM

You and I both know the real reason you like Jessica Rabbit. Sure, she's hot, but man, what a tease. Ariel had plenty of sex appeal for me, and everyone knows I have no problem with a nerd. Plus those shells? Oh man. And those pipes? Daaaamn. I don't know why I'm defending her though, I've moved on to bigger and more elastic things.

I emphatically agree with your views and frustration of movie
theaters. Also, i would like to take this time to compliment you on your blog.
Your tireless work ethic and your ability to find amusing
stories is only superseded by your ability to organize an
aesthetically pleasing layout (i.e the graphics you have now
incorporated). Undoubtedly, I would attend your new cutting
edge theater. However, a big problem I see, is the infinite
combinations of candy treats available at the concession
stand. I make every effort to be punctual when attending the
theater,however, I hit a road block when ordering
refreshments. Amazingly, I am always behind the young lad who,
when faced with the question of whether or not he would like
cheese with his hot pretzel, the lad deliberates longer than
most murder trial jurors. With this said, Is it reasonable to
assume this lad has the capacity to swiftly pick from a wide
array of candy tubs? My experience is the young chap takes an
inordinate amount of time to pick out the candy and then when
he finally does his buddy, who is fresh out of quarters from playing the arcade
games, comes over in the Jimmy Neutron shirt (with capri sun
stains all over it) and overrides the choices. Thus, it now
becomes a joint venture to re pick the candy. It is
absolutely unbelievable. Anyways, I surmise this type of nonsensical
behavior would not be tolerated in your theater. Lastly, I am
guilty of playing one arcade game, subject to availability,
and that game is the CLAW. I cannot loose at this game. Please
don't mistake my confidence for arrogance. In fact, some
curious onlookers have even asked me if I was a crane operator
by trade or if I had put in some type of cheat code because of
all the furry creatures I had amassed

"No no honey, save me a seat, I'm on level 4."

That was precious.

Matt,

I saw your most recent pic on Tina's site and I just have to let you know that I never gave you permission to grow old and/or a beard.

Mike

more material! more material!

More flannel! More flannel!