Out of the Loop

Has anyone seen the new ad for the Tampax Pearl? I know I'm not the target audience for this thing, but seriously, you'd think the marketing department could come up with something a little better (sorry Kim, I think it was Leo Burnett). Does anyone really enjoy these ads? Seriously ladies, pony up on some comments and let us know. Does an ad for a tampon really sway your purchase decision? Do you think, wow, this one holds 62 buckets of blue test liquid as compared to this amateur that only holds 58?

Let me break it down. A man and a woman are out in some pond on a rowboat and all of the sudden the boat springs a leak. Oh no! Are they going to make it? Will their date be ruined as they have to attempt to swim to safety and she can't escape the grip of the raging undertow? Will the guy look like an idiot when he can't fix the leak? Nah, his trusty date opens her travel sack to reveal an ENTIRE BOX of tampons. An ENTIRE BOX. Ladies, who carries around an entire box, let alone on a ROWBOAT in a TRAVEL SACK?

So, as the guy frantically searches his tiny rowboat for something to fix the life threatening situation that has come about, his quick thinking date pulls out a tampon (hopefully a spare) and plugs up the leak. The guy realizes he's found a real keeper, and they share a moment as their freshly repaired boat floats off into happiness. Because, wait for it, the Tampax Pearl is all about preventing leaks.

Who knew tampons were also the tool of choice for life savers across the globe?

Here's a link to the video if you really want it. Right click, Save Target As...

schrags

hahahahahaha! Why oh why have I not seen this commercial?? Personally, even if I did carry an entire box of tampons, which I don't, and even if I had a bunch to spare, I really don't think I would unwrap one of those suckers and plug up the boat. It's kinda gross. Then what? They are floating around having a romantic time whilst a water-logged tampon is (thankfully) there between them? I wouldn't be able to stop staring at the tampon and I'm sure the guy would love looking at it as well, considering most guys out there cringe at the mere sight of the tampax box.

No, I am not swayed by the tampon absorbancy tests, although I think if they used actual blood instead of wimpy blue test fluid, it would be much more convincing (and make more guys puke). I can't believe I just wrote that. gross.

if only someone on the Titanic had a box of these babies...


personally i like the smooth polished feel of the pearl...ha

Watch it there beardy. My dad sells those. I own stock, and we have more Pearls down in our basement than you could shake a stick at. Let's just say that I could shove 4 pearls up everytime I only needed one, and I'd still have enough to supply to every woman (and boat) on this planet.

[quote] I own stock, [/quote]


how can one go about getting this "stock" you speak of? Because I only want stock in the pearl, not the other shit this company makes...

I got stock in P&G, buddy.

//Let's just say that I could shove 4 pearls up everytime I only needed one//

Sick, Jenn. Real sick.

yeah, I cringed at that part as well. 4? At once? Seriously? Ouch.

I go for shock value.. lest not forgot the man who blogged about tampons here.

Yeah, I about died when I read this post considering if you mention "period," "bleeding," or any other menstrual term, like most guys, schrags about pukes. It's a big day in my world when I see an entire post solely on tampons. This is big. Huge. :)

I prefer blog posts about poop.

matt, a girl just wrote about poop. I can't believe the site is not shut down yet...

POOP! may i say it's one of melissa and i's favorite topics.

Who knew there was a party in my comments?? I really don't have trouble with the bleeding, etc. Just picturing girls pinching a loaf is really what gets me pukey. The rule of thumb was always if you could picture a girl on the pot, you couldn't date her.

That's pretty much the gayest thing I've ever heard. In fact, picturing you on the pot layin' some brown brick makes me want to vom. Everybody poops. Maybe you should read that book.

I know that everybody poops, and I have no problem with that. In fact, you can purchase my Poop Strong! wristbands in a matter of days. I just don't want to picture you with squinty eyes and exposed veins trying to make a deposit.

Carolyn from the Apprentice poops!

I'd hope so, but I bet she poops iron slabs or nails.

she probably shits outta her mouth like a fierce dragon.

Fierce dragons shit out of their mouth?

I bet Trump tries to get her to drop a hot steamer on that board room table from time to time--- afterhours.

more like a cleveland steamer....on his chest.

Jenn, what if you have to do #2 and you are in your wedding dress? (for instance, if you select the beef option on that spiffy invite)

first of all, beef is filet mignon.

second of all, you might have to help me in the bathroom so I don't get any brown on my dress.

Sick.

Ok, beef it is. Any other insider info I need to know before making my meal selection?

Keeping in theme with the topic, is Swiss Miss still unleashing her wrath in stall #2?

wow. poop really gets things going on the blog. BearGB, how does your fiance feel about the poop topic? Do you guys poop in front of one another? Do any couples out there do that (in a non cleveland-steamer way)? Is that how people know they've found "the one" and it's time for a wedding? I would think there would come a point when stuff like that starts happening and there's no turning back.

Frankly, my preference would be to never ever have to poop in front of anyone- let alone my husband.

Side note: My boss just walked over here and was in my cube- front range vision of the poop convo front and center. Awesome.

Brian and me are avid poopers. We give poop reports, but he doesn't freaking watch me on the throne, Schrags. If you can't talk about crunches, then don't ever get married.

wow- 28 comments in 2 days! matt, this just makes me realize the world must be bottling up their need to talk about dracula's tea bag, aunt flow and droppin' the kids in the pool.

Kelly,

Good to have you back. I had no idea the topic would spark such an overwhelming amount of feedback. I'll have to bring more bodily functions into my posts.

what the hell? Dracula's Tea Bag?

Jesus, I'm dying in a fit of laughter. Just when I thought everyone's blogs had quieted down a little...

I'm so glad everyone's talking about poop again. It really is the most fun topic to discuss. Just to put in my two cents.... I have been married for about a year now (living together about 2 before that) and I still turn on the water in the bathroom. Even if it's a silent bomb, I just need that rush of water on to block out any possible noise so that my hubby thinks that I don't poo. And actually, I've heard the water on when he's in there before too so I think he wants me to think he doesn't poo either. But we do like laughing at it and talking about it, we just prefer to think that neither of us ever make poopie. hahahahaaaaaaaa

And Meliss, will you dance with me at the wedding?

girl, you bet your ass i will.
i'll be dateless and looking for a nice dance! holla.

I'm like 11 years old. I just happened to walk into my brothers room with this page on his comeputer. Eww, gross, NASTY. I went back a couple pages to find that he was looking up TAMPONS on google. Now that, my friends, make me want to puke! Everybody Poops is the best book in the world! Anybody talking trash 'bout it is gonna find themselves with a mouth full of freshly brewed cali girl poo!

Elvis died on the porsaline throne. He had a heart attack from pushing to hard!