Out of the Loop

I figured now would be an appropriate time to tell you I have fallen madly in love. My new squeeze's name starts with an "R," ends with a "D," and has a "eal Worl" in between. The TiVo gods above recently graced my favorite little cable box with the 16th installment of The Real World. This time, kids, they're messing with Texas.

My only "real" complaint with the show so far is the fact that their house has a giant neon sign on it which reads "AUSTIN," like we (or the perpetually drunk cast) might forget where they are at some point. Cool house, really gay sign.

The booze isn't even out on the first day, and hugs are flying around the house like it's a high school retreat. Everyone is "so happy" to meet their roommates and "can't wait" to get to know them better. Just like other "reality" favorites of mine such as Elimidate and The Fifth Wheel, the show succeeds because its cast has access to a seemingly limitless supply of alcohol to, you know, "loosen" things up.

Chicks are kissing in the hot tub on the first day, well, one chick and one bridge troll, people are making out left and right, and we even get to witness an authentic street fight...complete with a life threatening injury and a trip to the ER. All in the first three episodes! Mix in some surgery and a nymph and you've got an alcohol induced recipe for success.

Every Tuesday night at 10/9 central, I get to tune into a half hour frat party and I absolutely love it. Last night two of the guys introduced the "groupie drawer." Brilliant! They have this big drawer full of phone numbers from girls they meet and then they close their eyes and randomly pick one to "hook up with" for the night. Plain old phone numbers weren't cutting it, so they're looking to invest in a Polaroid to put faces with names. Soon they might even introduce a Dewey decimal system. It's like having a local match.com right next to your kitchen sink.

Wes has me in stitches every time he comes on the screen. He says things like "I'm going to go crazy tomorrow night...I'm going to hook up with sooo many chicks." Then he puts a tight shirt on, gets drunk, throws some store bought game around, comes home with nothing, and gets right back on the horse the next day. I really admire his spirit.

Melinda really had me for the first few episodes. I couldn't stop thinking about those boy shorts she sports all over the house. Oh man. But lately, she's really been fading on me. I can't tell if it's her painful Milwaukee accent, or the fact that she's "never felt this way before about someone" three seconds after breaking up with her long time boyfriend, but right now, she's gotta work hard to get back to the top of my list. More boy shorts will help.

I know I'm a few episodes deep, but I really think I'm going to start writing reviews. I need to get back on the blog train for a bit.

schrags

Bless you for returning. I bet after this comment I'll be blocked from this site, as my company patrols the internet waters with steadfast dedication. However- I must say this every other month posting is just not going to cut it.

Now, on to the Real World. I am curious as to how you feel about "Big Tex." I'd give anything to have that guy in my new apartment. I think the "bridge troll" nickname was a little rough, although she is my least favorite castmate. Melinda is hot, but I have a feeling she's one of those "girls with issues." We'll see.

My illegal cable for the summer does not pick up MTV, so I haven’t been able to enjoy the Austin rendition of 7 douchebags picked to live in a house. Pissed is an understatement. No one can capture the stereotypes of America’s drunken youth like MTV. Have they had any roommate interventions yet? All that “I treasure your friendship” shit, love it. I’ll be looking to your blog to keep me updated...

Guten tag.

Amazing....Schrags, I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your new found obsession with the real world, after having my tivo provide you with the first few episodes during your visit to Philly.

Its really incredible and there looks to be some great controversey in the house this year.

I apologize in advance for any misspellings as I attempt to hammer this one out on this bunk ass german keyboard.

-skillz

Oh my god, I miss my tivo.

As for the Bridge Troll (brilliant):
Are we talking about Collin-banger or are we talking about the semi-goth herm that has Conan O'Brien's stretch face?

Just want to be clear.

PS. Wes is from OP, my old stomping grounds.

bridge troll = cotton candy ice cream eating army nurse.

Whoa, just saw a picture. Bridge troll it is.

As a female, it is painful watching Wes and Nehemiah trying to pick-up girls....they have absolutely no game. Without the cameras, the two of them would be the biggest dorks at the bar.

Definitely good for a laugh though.

Hilarious. I am calling Comcast to tell them I want cable back. I've got to watch...this is just too much. "Throws some store bought game around, and then comes home with nothing." HA!!!!

hey remember when you were going to blog about real world?

updates?